I think balance is something every mother struggles with, regardless of if they are a stay at home mom or a working mom. It seems to be the unattainable goal that we strive for daily. I seem to have trouble balancing most areas of my life, especially when it comes to "me" time and time with the kids. I find myself feeling guilty over getting a sitter to have dinner with a girlfriend. But if I stay home, I find myself resenting my kids because I didn't go out. It's a lose lose situation. So why is balance so hard to achieve? In theory it sounds so reasonable, so easy. But putting it into practice is an entirely different thing.
My mom gave me good advice, she told me to have a sitter come every other week (or every
day week, depending on what kind of week it has been), so that I can have some "me" time. This way it is on the calendar, I know it's coming, and I have something to look forward to. How many times have you heard self help gurus tell you to put things on the calendar or write it down? All the time. Do you know why? Because it works. Anything from scheduling "me" time on your calendar to keeping a food journal; when you write it down, it makes it real. Suddenly, you feel committed because it is out there and not just an idea in your head. Having that down time makes me a better mom. It really does. Judge me if you want. But when I sip on a Starbucks chai tea latte while getting a pedicure, I come back feeling refreshed and feeling like I haven't completely lost myself in the midst of raising my kids. And that is important.
But what about spending time with my kids? This is also something I have to put on my calendar as well. I almost feel bad saying that. Maybe it's just me, but I have to schedule time to play with my kids, otherwise I get caught up in all of my "to-do's". As a stay at home mom, I feel like I always have something to do- laundry, dishes, change a diaper, grocery shopping, make dinner, Dr. appointments... I miss out on just sitting down and playing because I get so wrapped up in what needs to be done around the house. Our mini road trip last week was perfect because it got me out of the house and focused on spending time with my kids rather than what needed to get done that day.
I don't mean to sound like "me" time and spending time with my kids is a chore. But for me, putting it on a calendar is key. It makes it happen and it helps me maintain balance.
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| "me" time vs. the kids |
