Day # 4: One helluva day

    Let me tell you about my day yesterday. It all started out great. I got my birthday gift from my husband! A new Honda Odyssey minivan. Hooray for the mini van! I mean, I feel that I am officially in the mom club now. So I went over to the Honda dealership, all of my paperwork in hand, ready to purchase my van. However, I had to take both (semi sick) kids with me and trade my old Honda Accord in...so it took a little longer than I had expected. Well, during this time Luke suddenly spiked a fever. As far as I know, he did not have a fever when we left the house, but within the hour we were there his temperature began to rise quickly. When I took him out of his stroller, he was BURNING UP! He was so hot  that I took his shirt off and asked for an ice pack to cool him down. I was getting very concerned and of course I had no children's tylenol with me. So I was anxious to get going. About 30 seconds after I signed my check and finished all of the paperwork, Luke starts violently shaking and his eyes start rolling back into his head. You know what a seizure looks like when you finally see one; there was no doubt in my mind that was what was happening. The woman in the office called 9-1-1 while I yelled out the door for some help. As I look back on all of this today, I remember now that I was pleading with God that Luke would be okay. Do you know what it is like to hold your child and think your'e watching him take his last breaths? It is terrifying. It brings you to your knees faster than anything. The first woman who ran to the room was a Pediatric Intensive Care nurse. You think there is no God? You think again. There is, and He was there.  Really, a pediatric nurse just happened to be in the Honda dealership? DO NOT try to tell me that was a coincidence. She took him from me, held him, and made sure his airway was open. We were taken to the hospital and Luke was given Tylenol and Motrin. After speaking to the Doctor, it was concluded that what had occurred was a Febrile Seizure which is triggered when your child is sick and also has a fever. The Dr. was not concerned and this is apparently something that is common in children of normal development between the ages of 6 months and 6 years. We were home in time for dinner. My precious boy is well today, no temperature, playing with his sister, and being his sweet happy self.
   Now, that was a heck of a day! And yes, I got my new van after all! The car salesman brought me my van to the hospital. So in the end, all was well. But let me tell you, I'm ready for my babies to both be healthy, it has been a rough few days. I think they are both feeling better, and now, of course, I'm coming down with something. 

Day # 3: 3 Pink eyes, 2 double ear infections, and a Partridge in a pear tree

 Well, you know when you have one of those days, well, I've had one of those weekends. It started out with one child getting pink eye followed swiftly by the other child getting it, except in both eyes. I mean why have one pink eye when you could have two? Luke had a double ear infection last week and now Savannah has one. A double one. And a fever. When my kids get sick, they like to go all out. It can't just be one of them with one ear infection, it has to be both of them with a double ear infection!

 We had no plans this weekend, so I guess it was a great weekend for both kids to get sick. But let me tell you, I am ready to GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE. Pink eye is one of those illnesses you can't really hide. The green goop, red eye, and constant discharge is hard to disguise. And pink eye literally jumps to other kids; it spreads if the infected kid just looks at you. It's not like a runny nose that you can say is just 'allergies'; you really can't play off pink eye which means no gym, no school, no ballet....it's lockdown over here at the Silengo household. (Side note: My kids go to the gym, school, and ballet with runny noses and a cough. Do you know why? Because between the two of them they have a runny nose and cough every other week. I think Luke has had a runny nose most of his short life. I DO NOT keep my kids home for that. Yes, I'm that parent. Now puking, fever, pink eye are different. We actually try to keep those germs to ourselves.)

 So I found myself working on my better mommy project in a different way this weekend, a way that is difficult for me sometimes. I am a mover, a planner, the person who likes to be busy. Part of this is just how I am, part of it is because when Tyson is gone, I purposely make lots of plans. It keeps us busy and makes the time pass quickly. So staying home on lockdown is not only hard for me, but for my kids too. They get cabin fever just like their mama! This was an opportune time to practice my patience, kindness, and gentleness to my children. These things do not come easily for me and is made increasingly difficult when my kids are sick because just like me, they get a little crankier when they don't feel well.

 I have to say we had fun though, minus the goopy eye funk. The weather finally cooperated and we were able to play outside and go to the zoo (I'm fairly certain the animals can't catch pink eye). I also felt that having sick kids entitled me to some Pay-Per-View...so we watched Tangled, two and a half times. Also, I now have the world's cleanest house and I think I washed everything washable I could get my hands on; I must decontaminate the house.

 Sometimes it is good for me to be forced to stay home, snuggle with my kids, and just enjoy some quality down time. And this weekend I was reminded that staying still and not going somewhere or being busy all the time is quite nice, even if it involves 3 pink eyes, 2 double ear infections, and a Partridge in a pear tree!

                                                      

Day # 2: Costco

 I believe that the direction and vision of my blog changed starting yesterday with the development of the "better" mommy project. I have decided to make this blog a journal of my progress in this journey, that way I can look back at the end of the year to see how far I've come (hopefully), all the mistakes I've made, and all of the new experiences I've had.

 So Day #1 of the better mommy project: success! I decided, after much thought and FB(Facebook) deliberation, to join Costco. I was also informed of some great deals on Amazon for diapers and wipes (um yes, sign me up for someone delivering diapers and wipes to my door every month) with the Mom Prime account. Oh yes, I qualify for Mom Prime because I am a mom, and a proud one at that!
  Yesterday I decided on Costco, today, I shopped Costco with a dedicated mission of buying items in bulk with no expiration date. I became a member, bought in bulk, and snacked on samples. It was an amazing grocery experience. However, I don't think I'll ever be able to spend less than $100 when shopping there. Forty bucks of that was paper goods, and I'm stocked until next Spring on toilet paper. Unfortunately, I fell prey to some granola nutty raisin goodness, in bulk of course. I'll be eating that until 2015 since both of my children have nut allergies.....
  All in all Day # 2 was productive. Although in places like Costco you may initially spend more, in the end you spend less. I mean, I won't be needing to purchase paper towels for years months.

I want to hang out with this woman, check out all the wine! You know she's got kids!

The "better" mommy project

  Last night as I tossed and turned, I began to think.  If you had asked me ten years ago where I thought I would be when I was 27 years old I would have said a Clinical Psychologist, a Counselor, or maybe even working for a police department as a forensic profiler. Well, kids change your plans and right now, I am a stay at home mother. I think after almost four years of doing this, I am finally fully accepting that this is where I am in my life right now. I have felt torn for years, debating if I should work or stay home. I have never felt truly settled in staying home, until now. At times I feel like I took the easy way out; other times I feel like this is the hardest worst paying job I've ever had! But sometimes (most of the time) I just don't feel like a "good" mom. I feel like I could be better. I don't use dozens of coupons and save $124.08 each week on groceries, I don't make homemade play dough, I don't cook perfectly well balanced organic meals, I don't take my kids to story time every week, I yell, I designate "no talking" when Savannah's endless chatter drives me CRAZY... I make it through each day, sometimes hanging on by a thin strand of my sanity, and do it again the next day. And some days, that is good enough. But I want more.
   I now feel like I am ready to fully embrace this whole mom thing. Yes, I know, it only took me four years, but better late than never, right? I am going to attempt a "better mommy project" for myself. I want to do all those "mommy" things, all the things I swore I would never do (well, I still won't wear mom jeans) and see if I can become a "better" mom. It's not just about all the things I do for my kids, but also about becoming more selfless, patient, kinder with my words, persevering, gentle, and loving. My life is no longer about me, and finally after four years, I get that.
  So, Day # 1 of the better mommy project: Join Costco or Sam's (I figure I'll start with something easy). I hate having to go to multiple grocery stores for my groceries, but that is what I'm going to do if it means spending our money more wisely. Tyson jokingly says, " I make the money and you spend the money". But for the most part, it's true. However, I can help make money by saving where I can and I think this is a great way to start. My mother was/is the queen of bargain shopping and spending what she had with care. I clipped coupons growing up and went grocery shopping with my 2 younger sisters on triple coupon day! My mother was a brave woman!
  Hopefully by the end of this year I will be able to  look back and see some progress on my quest to become a better mommy. Savannah told me today, as if she knew I was doubting my mommy capabilities, "You're the best mommy!". And really, in the end, if that's what my kids think, then that's good enough for me.


  

Friends

   So I know I am not the first to comment on the fact that many random things that occur in life can be traced back to a Friends episode. However, maybe I should stop telling people that, they do not always seem to appreciate it, or get it.
   My Friends moment happened a few weeks ago when I decided to get a spray tan for my little sister's wedding. Honestly, the whole skin cancer thing aside, I don't have time to fake and bake. And what the heck am I supposed to do with my kids for 8-11 minutes four times a week while I tan? On a side note, tanning salons should really have child care, I mean, they are losing the mothers of young children cliental. Anyway, so the girl or spray tan technician is explaining to me while demonstrating the 4 poses that I will be doing while being sprayed with who knows what the tanning solution. The whole time I am thinking A) I wonder if SHE spray tans, because she looks awful and B) holy crap what if I don't get the poses right, don't turn in time, and look like Ross in that one Friends episode?? I told her about the Friends episode, which maybe, in hindsight, was not a good idea. She didn't seem to think it was all that funny and assured me I would not look like Ross.
   All ended well. I am a major fan of the spray on tan. I'm actually going again today. I mean, tomorrow is my 27th birthday, I should look tan for the big day.

5 months down, how many more to go?!?

   Well, instead of rejoicing in the fact that today it has officially been 5 months since Tyson left, I seem to be way more focused on the fact that we still have 2 more months to go! Lord, let it ONLY be 2 more! Funny things happen when your husband is gone for months at a time...I've already mentioned not cooking, not sitting while eating, but I have also (regrettably) taken up watching some bad t.v. I mean bad. Sister Wives is on my DVR. yep, sure is. How can you not watch that? It's like a train wreck that I cannot keep my eyes off of. Another recent favorite, Teen Mom 2. I won't even talk about that.
   Our kids are growing up fast and I swear they grow faster when Tyson is gone. Luke is starting to talk, repeating words and pointing to everything so that he can hear me say it. He loves to say "Dada" and points to Tyson saying Dada whenever we are all on Skype. However, he also randomly yells Dada at the computer anytime I'm on it. Im starting to think he thinks his dad is actually the computer and not a person....  Savannah keeps me laughing. She is about to be 4, and sometimes, she's just weird quirky. Like last week I was getting her dressed and she looked down at her legs and said, "Hey, my legs are right next to each other! They are right next to each other because they are friends, like me and Kayla." Really, I can't make this stuff up! Has she seriously just noticed that her legs are right next to each other? I really hope that is NOT the case. I like to think that she realized she could draw an accurate and relatable analogy of the closeness of her legs and the closeness of herself and her BFF, Kayla.
   Although things can be difficult when Tyson is gone, they can also be good. Knowing that we can all make it through this makes us stronger in the end and makes me realize it would be really hard for my family to be ripped apart by anything else. People say, " I don't know how you do that" or  (my personal favorite) " I could never do that". But you know what, you could do it because what other choice do you have? Walk away? No, you do it because it's worth it and anything worth doing is hard. Really hard.

The Big 2-7

    Well, here it is, my birthday week. I plan on, and have actually already begun, to celebrate ALL WEEK LONG! It started last night with a great surprise dinner and some incredible girlfriends- I had a BLAST! And, I was totally surprised; I had no idea. In honor of my birthday, I thought I'd note some signs of my getting "older":


 - I refuse to see a movie that starts after 8PM. It's just too late. If it doesn't start until 8, it won't be over until almost 10, I won't be in bed until 11, I'll be tired and grumpy the next morning, etc., and etc....the 8PM movie just ain't worth it.

- I found like 7 gray hairs last week and immediately ran out and bought hair color and dyed my hair.

- I've been called ma'am on more that one occasion, or Mrs. Silengo. No, not acceptable. It's Micah and don't call me ma'am if I'm only 5 years older than you. I mean, that's almost disrespectful.

- My husband let me pick out my next car. I was dead set on an SUV. After test driving everything I wanted I decided on a minivan.  They're just so much more comfortable.

- I said I would never have a kitchen full of roosters; have you seen my kitchen? Let me count....9

- If I have more than one drink I don't sleep well. When it comes down to it, I'd much rather have a full night of sleep than a third second drink.

- I now blog. That's not something the young hip 20's are doing, it't something us people in our late 20's do.


Strangely enough, turning 25 was hard on me. But turning 27, Bring.It.On. I am SO ready for 30. I mean, I have two kids, a white fenced back yard, a minivan coming soon, and I blog! I am ready for my thirties. Twenties are so overrated.