Day #15: Oh me, Oh my!

   My husband called this morning and told me he would be home tomorrow at 1:30PM instead of June 8th.... Oh.My.Gosh. Seriously?? I was jumping up and down like a little girl, I was so excited. I am so excited! Anyway, after hearing my husband was coming home in 30 hours, here is a little peak into my brain:
1) Didn't get that bikini wax...oh well
2) I need to actually wash my sheets. Lately I've been just flipping them around, so I sleep on my side for a while, then take them off and put "Tyson's side" of the sheets on my side, so I eliminate actually having to wash them as often.
3) The floors need to be swept and mopped. And the bathrooms need to be cleaned. When did I last vacuum??
4) Should have mowed the yard, it looks like a jungle
5) I took over the ENTIRE closet and bathroom
6) crap, I have to cook dinner tomorrow night. and not hotdogs again.
7) I hope Savannah stops referring to her father as "Tyson" and starts calling him Dad
8) Wish I had started my birth control....

But you know what?? After six months away, my husband won't care if any of that gets done, so I'm sitting here blogging with a glass of wine, delighting in the fact that tomorrow night at this time, Tyson will be home. With me. And not deployed for the next three years. WooHoo!

Day #14: Home again home again jiggity jig

   We are home! Of course, I could NOT sleep last night. Although I was in my own comfortable big bed, my brain would not shut off. Was it the big coffee I had at 4PM? Possibly. Was it the fact that my baby girl is turning 4 today? Could be. Was it the fact that I have a dentist appointment, doctor's appointment, cupcakes to make, a birthday party with a dozen 4 years olds, swim lessons, and a Change of Command dinner....all in the next 4 days? Yeah, I think that's it. So I dozed off around 2am and woke up at 6am sharp, brain on. Not the best plan to get four hours of sleep after a long day of travel and a bazillion things to do today, but that's what I got. And it's better than nothing.
   Florida did not go as planned. Shocking, I know. I mean, does anything ever go as planned when you are a mother of young children? No, no it does not. The flight out there was challenging at best. In the past month we have battled a multitude of illnesses, but not diarrhea. Apparently we needed to add that to the list, so poor Savannah headed up that effort. For 8 days. While dealing with that, the airport people did not put my stroller on my flight thus leaving me strollerless in Atlanta. For two hours. With two kids, a backpack, a diaper bag, a purse, and a car seat, I couldn't even walk. And do you know who cares? No one at the airport! So I asked a bitchy overworked kind airport employee at our next gate if I could leave my car seat behind the desk so that I could walk through the airport and take my kids to the bathroom and pick up lunch. She said no. I told her I would just leave it at the gate then. She told me she would call the police on me. Yep. Apparently I look like I may be hiding a bomb in the car seat. I told her thank you for all of her help (I may have used some major sarcasm) which was better than throwing the car seat at her while yelling expletives. I found an old couple and through my tears, managed to explain my dilemma. They said of course they would watch my car seat. That was the start to my trip...
   The middle of the trip continued on with Savannah up a few nights, which meant a few hours of sleep for both of us. I'm an eight- hours- of- sleep- a -night kind of gal. Unfortunately, Disney World did not happen due to the running to the potty every hour, but that just means we will do Disney World another time and do it with Daddy. The end of the trip got better, with TONS of beach time, several long runs on the beach, a pedicure, and I finished a book! The kids spent quality time with their grandparents and aunts and got completely and utterly spoiled. So all in all it was a good trip. Could have been better, could have been worse. But that's life, you take what you get, smile, and keep moving on.

Day #13: Leaving on a jet plane

  Yay! We are Florida bound, heading to Naples to see the in-laws and then to Orlando for Disney World. I am SO excited to take my self kids to Disney World, but bummed that Tyson is missing out. Guess that means we need to go again when gets back....
   In March I traveled solo with my little people to Texas, it was a success. I mean, I was that crazy mom in the airport hauling a stroller, carseat, diaper bag, and running on caffeine fumes with two kids through the airport. But we made it to Texas and back, my sanity in tact, just barely. Traveling with kids is one of the most exhausting things I can think of (besides all of us being sick for over a week), but what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger...right??  Anyway, I'm a little anxious regarding the flight for one reason, the potty. Oh yes. First of all, I think Luke poops on command. Yes, I'm going to talk about poop in this blog, so if that bothers you, stop reading now. I swear every time that child would hear that our flight was boarding, he pooped. So twice he did this - when we should have been doing early boarding (because it actually takes us a solid 5 minutes to get down the runway, fold up the stroller, and corral my kids...all while balancing my Starbucks of course), we were in the bathroom changing his diaper. Oh, and then he pooped while we were in flight.and there was no changing table. and I had to change him ON TOP of the potty. My son is in the 60th% for his height, he's long! Longer than the top of the potty. So when I emerged and my clothing was poop-free, I felt like a million bucks, like I could do anything. As though that's not enough, Savannah recently developed an aversion to automatically flushing toilets. Take a minute and think back to an airport, any airport. Do you know what they ALL have in common? Automatically flushing toilets. Yep. I asked. I actually asked an employee at the airport if there was a manually flushing potty that we might use because my daughter had been holding it for over TEN HOURS. The Lord put a broken potty in our path, one that did not flush unless the button was pushed, and the girl finally went. Needless to say, I'm anxious to see what this trip brings, but I know it will be an adventure for sure!
   All that said, I'm sure I will have a wealth of new blogging material when we return. But until then, I'll be laying on the beach a margarita in each hand, having lunch with Winnie the Pooh, and getting some much needed down time!

the evil automatically flushing potty...

    

Day #12: 4 going on 14

   I think I have a little diva on my hands...or maybe just a strong willed 4 year old. But really, is there a difference? Last Sunday Savannah did something she's never done before. She picked out her own (mismatched) clothes and put them on. She then put on her "dancy shoes" AKA fancy shoes. Her black jeweled church shoes, along with a purple t-shirt and her brown and pink skirt. I like my children to look as though they are not homeless when we go out in public, but honestly, we were all sick and I just didn't have the energy to care. Well, ever since then she has picked out her clothes everyday and has been adamant about what she wears. Today she wanted to be a cowgirl, we fought over tights or no tights for 10 minutes before we ditched that outfit for another one. But once it was on, she cried because she really wanted to wear a skirt today! Oh mercy. The girl has never cared about what she wears; I pick her clothes out every single day and she never says a word about it. But suddenly, she has a preference and an input.
   So last summer, Savannah thought she wanted to get her ears pierced. We talked about how it would pinch, feel like a shot, but then be over quickly and she would have earrings. We went to Clarie's, picked out earrings, sat in the chair, and even got the purple dots put on her ears. Then the two girls stepped forward and touched her ears. SHE. FREAKED. OUT. So we left. Well that was 9 months ago. Every time we go to the mall I ask her, "Hey, you want to get your ears pierced?" and every time she has a reason for why she isn't going to that day, " I'll wait until my daddy comes home. I'll wait until I'm 5. I'll do it when my Yia Yia visits me." And I say, "okay." Well, yesterday we were at the mall and I asked, as I always do, if she wanted her ears pierced. She said no along with some reason....then she said, "No, wait, I do want to get my eras pierced today." She was completely confident and it was like, she was suddenly ready. So we shopped some more and I figured she would change her mind. But no. We went, picked out the pink earrings, got the purple dots, and she sat still and had them pierced! I was honestly shocked. I figured we would be leaving the mall once again with purple dots on her ears. But no. She cried for about ten seconds. She has yet to complain about them hurting. She just looks in the mirror and says, "Oh, I have my ears pierced. They are so pretty."

    I'm feeling like my little girl has become a 'big girl' this week, just in time for her 4th birthday. I'm  glimpsing drama filled mornings regarding outfit choices! But I'm also seeing this strong willed little girl who knows exactly what she wants, making decisions, and sticking to them. But do you ever just feel like your child changes over night? I swear they actually do sometimes.

Day #11: Baby Boot Camp

   Baby boot camp is what happens at my house typically after grandparents visit. During the visit my kids get what they want, when they want, how they want. In the real world (aka, my house) that just ain't how it works. Well, baby boot camp has commenced at the Silengo house in spite of the fact there was not a recent grandparent visit. All I can figure is that things started to slowly unravel in the midst of all the sickness and that is the source of sassiness.
    When my kids are sick, I cut them some slack. They are allowed to be fussy, they can eat cereal for dinner, and they just get their way more often. So all I can figure is I unwittingly let things get out of control around here and today I realized just how bad it was. I snapped. I had had it with the complaining, the back talk, and the lack of manners from Savannah. I was sick of Luke hitting everything and anything in his path, throwing everything and anything in his path, and sick of hearing him yell, "Ni" at me. Not "no", "ni". It's Luke's version of no, but I know what he means and when he yells "ni" at me, he has attitude. Major attitude. So today, I followed through on all of my empty threats of spanking, time outs, no t.v., and no fruit snacks. Yeah, I mean business when I take the fruit snacks away. Today it's going to be one fun day around our house, and by fun, I mean miserable.
    But the truth is I hate it just as much, if not more, than my kids do. It's hard to discipline and stay consistent all day every day. At the end of the day, I'm tired of saying "no" and I let things slip. When Tyson is home I have some reenforcement. When he comes home from work he can take over for me saying "no" and encourage me to finish the day out. One of my fears when Tyson is deployed is that he is going to come home and find his children undisciplined and out of control. I know that is extreme, but I just want them to be as well behaved or even better behaved than when he left. I don't want him to have to come home to pick up a mess I made. So now it's time to step up my game. Time to pull out the camo diapers and my whistle.
 

                                      

Day #10: Taking it out on the wrong person

  So, I've just realized something. Okay, that's actually a lie; I realized this a while back, and by a while, I mean years. I'm not proud to own up to it. I say it in hopes that other mothers and wives can relate. Yesterday I had a busy, exhausting day. Well, that describes all most days with my kids, but yesterday was extra busy and extra exhausting. We went to the gym, which is stupid because I'm still sick, but it's a compulsion, I can't help myself. Then we went to ballet,Wal-mart (which I loathe) and then our home away from home- the Doctor. Needless to say, by the time we got home, I was done, completely spent, and so were the kids.
  Unfortunately, my poor unsuspecting husband got the brunt of how I was feeling. I just verbally vomited up everything I was feeling, and since I was frustrated and exhausted, I was yelling about how I was feeling. Awesome. This seems to happen more than I would like to admit. I get upset or angry about something completely unrelated to Tyson he's the one who gets an earful! There is a difference between passionately venting and yelling everything that comes into your head that your'e mad about. I'm not mad at him, but unfortunately that is how it comes across. So, here is to making it a point to not take it out on the person I love the most, but to attempt to effectively communicate my frustrations to him. Without yelling.
 

Day # 9: rejoining society

  Yesterday I finally began to feel human again and was able to rejoin society after being exiled for a week. Did I mention I also got pink eye, or should I say pink eyes? Yep, in both eyes. I like to do things all the way, be the best at being sick ya know. Yes, I thought I had missed out on that fun experience but no, I've been wearing my super sexy glasses from six years ago and looking like I have blood shot goopy eyes. These are the times I'm happy my husband isn't here to see me. I'm truly a sight.
  I ventured out into the world yesterday- the gym, lunch with a friend, and the mall. It was amazing. I actually felt good (minus the semi blurred vision due to an outdated glasses prescription and antibiotic eye ointment). I have to say I have missed my routine. Not that I go to the lunch and the mall everyday, but heck I actually missed the treadmill. It's true. And poor little Luke, he practically ran into the kid's club at the gym and waved goodbye to me. The kid was ready to get away from me and go play with some other kids. Apparently I am not as good of a playmate as the gym kids. Or he's just sick of me. And after a week of staying around the house, I'm sick of me too.
   As nice as it is to get away from routine, it's just as nice to return to it. It's comfortable, familiar, and predictable. I'm a creature of habit and routine and being away from it too long makes me antsy, nervous even. I like knowing what I'm doing everyday, every hour. Yes, I'm that much of a control freak, but that topic can be saved for another blog.

Day #8: Balance

   I think balance is something every mother struggles with, regardless of if they are a stay at home mom or a working mom. It seems to be the unattainable goal that we strive for daily. I seem to have trouble balancing most areas of my life, especially when it comes to "me" time and time with the kids. I find myself feeling guilty over getting a sitter to have dinner with a girlfriend. But if I stay home, I find myself resenting my kids because I didn't go out. It's a lose lose situation. So why is balance so hard to achieve? In theory it sounds so reasonable, so easy. But putting it into practice is an entirely different thing.
   My mom gave me good advice, she told me to have a sitter come every other week (or every day week, depending on what kind of week it has been), so that I can have some "me" time. This way it is on the calendar, I know it's coming, and I have something to look forward to. How many times have you heard self help gurus tell you to put things on the calendar or write it down? All the time. Do you know why? Because it works. Anything from scheduling "me" time on your calendar to keeping a food journal; when you write it down, it makes it real. Suddenly, you feel committed because it is out there and not just an idea in your head. Having that down time makes me a better mom. It really does. Judge me if you want. But when I sip on a Starbucks chai tea latte while getting a pedicure, I come back feeling refreshed and feeling like I haven't completely lost myself in the midst of raising my kids. And that is important.
  But what about spending time with my kids? This is also something I have to put on my calendar as well. I almost feel bad saying that. Maybe it's just me, but I have to schedule time to play with my kids, otherwise I get caught up in all of my "to-do's". As a stay at home mom, I feel like I always have something to do- laundry, dishes, change a diaper, grocery shopping, make dinner, Dr. appointments... I miss out on just sitting down and playing because I get so wrapped up in what needs to be done around the house. Our mini road trip last week was perfect because it got me out of the house and focused on spending time with my kids rather than what needed to get done that day.
  I don't mean to sound like "me" time and spending time with my kids is a chore. But for me, putting it on a calendar is key. It makes it happen and it helps me maintain balance.

"me" time         vs.        the kids

                                        

Day #7: Accepting help

   Sometimes it's okay to accept help. Sometimes it's the best thing you can do for yourself, and for your kids. I like to think I can do it all on my own, and you know, that is probably a good mentality to have when raising two kids while your husband is gone. But sometimes saying, "Yes, help would be great", is hard to do. My sister-in-law called me Monday night, after all of the the seizure drama with Luke and asked me if I would be in town this weekend and said she was coming down to help out and to keep me company. My first instinct was to tell her I that I don't need any help and to not come and waste her time. I mean, this girl is a senior at the Merchant Marine Academy, graduating in 70 days...SHE'S BUSY!  But instead I said, "that would be great". So she came and, let me tell you, I have some big plans. I went to go to the grocery store ALONE today. I know. This afternoon Luke has another Dr. appointment (Yeah, we've been to the Dr. three times in two weeks, I'm going to look into getting a reserved parking spot there) and having an extra set of hands to keep tabs on Savannah while I deal with Luke will be so much help. It's not like I can't go to the grocery store and Dr. with my kids, but having someone help me out gives me a little bit of (much needed) relief. Sometimes, you don't know how much you need the help until you have it. Shout out to my sis-in-law for being awesome!

Day # 6: Playing hooky

  You know what you don't get as a SAHM (yes, that means Stay at home mom. Once your'e in the mom club they give you a list of all of these acronyms and what they mean)? Well, you don't get a break at the end of the day and you certainly don't get a paycheck at the end of the week. But, what you do get, is to decide what to do every.single.day. And today, we played hooky. Okay, fine, you caught me. I may or may not have had a dentist appointment to get cavities filled, but hello, those cavities will still be there next year month week when I reschedule my appointment. Plus, I hated to pass up 75 degrees and sunny after a week of doom (REMINDER: pink eye, double ear infection, high fever, and seizure) and gloom ( I'm pretty sure it has rained the past 10 days, and my depression mood has taken a hit.)
   I decided to head to Williamsburg, VA which is only about a 45 minute-5 hour (depending on the tunnel traffic) drive from Norfolk. Pretty much the only cool thing about living in Norfolk is that Jamestown, Williamsburg, and Yorktown are so close. When we lived in Houston, driving 45 minutes got us to downtown Houston; so you can see why I'm so psyched that Williamsburg is a completely different city and so close. I decided that the minivan needed a maiden voyage and that my kids and I needed to get out of town and have a play day just with us. We walked Colonial Williamsburg, pet some horses, ate lunch outside, and had ice cream. Perfect day.
   Sometimes, tossing routine out the window is the best idea. For me it meant giving up gym time, and if you know me well, I don't give up gym time. EVER., rescheduling a dentist appointment, and not finishing up laundry, but sometimes you just need to drop it all and get away for awhile. So that's what we did. The gym, dentist, and laundry will still all be there tomorrow.

Day # 5: coffee

    I'm going to keep this short and sweet. You know what makes me a better mommy? Coffee. Yeah, I said it. You know what makes me an even better mommy? Coffee with creamer, the good kind. Not that sugar free, fat free crap garbage. Like right now, Almond Joy. If you have not had Almond Joy creamer let me ask you, why in the heck not? It will make your life day better. So the problem is, it is limited edition creamer. The last three grocery stores I have been in DID NOT have this creamer. Now, before I freak out completely, I will visit multiple other stores across the Hampton Roads area. I mean, this is my Prozac ....um, drug of choice. I make my coffee the night before so that all I have to do is to push that button when I walk downstairs, no prep necessary. But the creamer is a major player in the enjoyment of my coffee. So today, my mission is: Find that Almond Joy creamer. And stock up like it's 2012.

                                                            

Day # 4: One helluva day

    Let me tell you about my day yesterday. It all started out great. I got my birthday gift from my husband! A new Honda Odyssey minivan. Hooray for the mini van! I mean, I feel that I am officially in the mom club now. So I went over to the Honda dealership, all of my paperwork in hand, ready to purchase my van. However, I had to take both (semi sick) kids with me and trade my old Honda Accord in...so it took a little longer than I had expected. Well, during this time Luke suddenly spiked a fever. As far as I know, he did not have a fever when we left the house, but within the hour we were there his temperature began to rise quickly. When I took him out of his stroller, he was BURNING UP! He was so hot  that I took his shirt off and asked for an ice pack to cool him down. I was getting very concerned and of course I had no children's tylenol with me. So I was anxious to get going. About 30 seconds after I signed my check and finished all of the paperwork, Luke starts violently shaking and his eyes start rolling back into his head. You know what a seizure looks like when you finally see one; there was no doubt in my mind that was what was happening. The woman in the office called 9-1-1 while I yelled out the door for some help. As I look back on all of this today, I remember now that I was pleading with God that Luke would be okay. Do you know what it is like to hold your child and think your'e watching him take his last breaths? It is terrifying. It brings you to your knees faster than anything. The first woman who ran to the room was a Pediatric Intensive Care nurse. You think there is no God? You think again. There is, and He was there.  Really, a pediatric nurse just happened to be in the Honda dealership? DO NOT try to tell me that was a coincidence. She took him from me, held him, and made sure his airway was open. We were taken to the hospital and Luke was given Tylenol and Motrin. After speaking to the Doctor, it was concluded that what had occurred was a Febrile Seizure which is triggered when your child is sick and also has a fever. The Dr. was not concerned and this is apparently something that is common in children of normal development between the ages of 6 months and 6 years. We were home in time for dinner. My precious boy is well today, no temperature, playing with his sister, and being his sweet happy self.
   Now, that was a heck of a day! And yes, I got my new van after all! The car salesman brought me my van to the hospital. So in the end, all was well. But let me tell you, I'm ready for my babies to both be healthy, it has been a rough few days. I think they are both feeling better, and now, of course, I'm coming down with something. 

Day # 3: 3 Pink eyes, 2 double ear infections, and a Partridge in a pear tree

 Well, you know when you have one of those days, well, I've had one of those weekends. It started out with one child getting pink eye followed swiftly by the other child getting it, except in both eyes. I mean why have one pink eye when you could have two? Luke had a double ear infection last week and now Savannah has one. A double one. And a fever. When my kids get sick, they like to go all out. It can't just be one of them with one ear infection, it has to be both of them with a double ear infection!

 We had no plans this weekend, so I guess it was a great weekend for both kids to get sick. But let me tell you, I am ready to GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE. Pink eye is one of those illnesses you can't really hide. The green goop, red eye, and constant discharge is hard to disguise. And pink eye literally jumps to other kids; it spreads if the infected kid just looks at you. It's not like a runny nose that you can say is just 'allergies'; you really can't play off pink eye which means no gym, no school, no ballet....it's lockdown over here at the Silengo household. (Side note: My kids go to the gym, school, and ballet with runny noses and a cough. Do you know why? Because between the two of them they have a runny nose and cough every other week. I think Luke has had a runny nose most of his short life. I DO NOT keep my kids home for that. Yes, I'm that parent. Now puking, fever, pink eye are different. We actually try to keep those germs to ourselves.)

 So I found myself working on my better mommy project in a different way this weekend, a way that is difficult for me sometimes. I am a mover, a planner, the person who likes to be busy. Part of this is just how I am, part of it is because when Tyson is gone, I purposely make lots of plans. It keeps us busy and makes the time pass quickly. So staying home on lockdown is not only hard for me, but for my kids too. They get cabin fever just like their mama! This was an opportune time to practice my patience, kindness, and gentleness to my children. These things do not come easily for me and is made increasingly difficult when my kids are sick because just like me, they get a little crankier when they don't feel well.

 I have to say we had fun though, minus the goopy eye funk. The weather finally cooperated and we were able to play outside and go to the zoo (I'm fairly certain the animals can't catch pink eye). I also felt that having sick kids entitled me to some Pay-Per-View...so we watched Tangled, two and a half times. Also, I now have the world's cleanest house and I think I washed everything washable I could get my hands on; I must decontaminate the house.

 Sometimes it is good for me to be forced to stay home, snuggle with my kids, and just enjoy some quality down time. And this weekend I was reminded that staying still and not going somewhere or being busy all the time is quite nice, even if it involves 3 pink eyes, 2 double ear infections, and a Partridge in a pear tree!

                                                      

Day # 2: Costco

 I believe that the direction and vision of my blog changed starting yesterday with the development of the "better" mommy project. I have decided to make this blog a journal of my progress in this journey, that way I can look back at the end of the year to see how far I've come (hopefully), all the mistakes I've made, and all of the new experiences I've had.

 So Day #1 of the better mommy project: success! I decided, after much thought and FB(Facebook) deliberation, to join Costco. I was also informed of some great deals on Amazon for diapers and wipes (um yes, sign me up for someone delivering diapers and wipes to my door every month) with the Mom Prime account. Oh yes, I qualify for Mom Prime because I am a mom, and a proud one at that!
  Yesterday I decided on Costco, today, I shopped Costco with a dedicated mission of buying items in bulk with no expiration date. I became a member, bought in bulk, and snacked on samples. It was an amazing grocery experience. However, I don't think I'll ever be able to spend less than $100 when shopping there. Forty bucks of that was paper goods, and I'm stocked until next Spring on toilet paper. Unfortunately, I fell prey to some granola nutty raisin goodness, in bulk of course. I'll be eating that until 2015 since both of my children have nut allergies.....
  All in all Day # 2 was productive. Although in places like Costco you may initially spend more, in the end you spend less. I mean, I won't be needing to purchase paper towels for years months.

I want to hang out with this woman, check out all the wine! You know she's got kids!